It's okay to not be okay.

It was around about 7 pm today, when I ended up in tears in the office that I realised I needed to write this post. Because I had started the day with a super cheerful dance to Grace Potter and The Nocturnals' "The Lion, The Beast and The Beat"; and yet it got to 7 pm, and I was doing Financial Reporting coursework, having finished work-work, and I started to cry.

Nothing had happened. In fact, the coursework was easier than the other half that I had done over the weekend had been; and I'd had a reasonably productive day, and the sun was still shining, and yet suddenly, I started crying.

And when you end up in tears at work when even one other person is there? (Especially if the someone is a manager you get along with well?) You end up having to use some words to say that actually, you're struggling a bit with being a grown-up; even if you don't know how to phrase that, or what it is about being a grown up that you're struggling with.

And that right there is the point of this.

Sometimes, you have days when you are not okay. Days at a time, full weekends, full weeks, even. Days when you wake up paralysed at the thought of doing things. Days when you feel you have so much to do, but cant't seem to get started; so you just lie there, your head willing you to move, and just not being able to. Days when, apparently, you make toast and forget about it, and only find the toast a whole week later when your sister comes to stay. (True story.) (There were tears upon finding the piece of toast.) Days when you have preemptively set your alarm about 2 hours earlier than it needed to be, because you knew you'd probably have to just lie there for 2 hours to talk yourself into getting up.

And the thing is: that is okay.

Because then you have days when you roll out of bed and you think, "HELL YEAH! I'VE GOT THIS." And those are the ones that mean you keep moving forwards.

You've got this.

Here is to remembering it is okay to sometimes not be okay. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to cry in front of people you really don't want to cry in front of; because if they are half-decent human beings, they will ask how they can help.

You've got this.
Yes, you CAN.

Promise.